Jackies Jungle

“I never quit and I was never fired, I made it my goal to be officially retired. Forget freedom 55 I am free at 23. Divorced from the workforce I am I be” -Josh Martinez

This song is really the only one I like by the hip hop artist Josh Martinez. The reason I like it however is because I have realized there really is no job I would enjoy doing for the rest of my life. In other words, I understand why some bums are bums. Work sucks and if you have no family or children, why work?

Never the less, I work now and will have to probably past 55. In school I had to write a perfect job description for myself. This isn’t what I turned in but it’s really is my perfect job. What do you think?

Title: Highly Confidential

Status: Completely Legal

Salary: $1,000,000-$10,000,000 annually

General Description: Traveling to exotic locations under different aliases to seduce wanted criminals who shall later be capture, tortured or killed.

Essential Job Functions:

1. Associating oneself with the dangerous, armed criminals.

2. Setting goals and arranging plans to become more intimately involved with them.

3. Arranging meetings with the criminals to gain their trust.

4. Ensuring that all resources needed to complete mission are used properly and carried out as planned.

5. Capturing, killing, or torturing said criminals as directed.
6. Target and long range shooting practice
7. Armed and unarmed physical training daily

Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities:

• Highly developed personal skills

• An analytical mind able to quickly assess individuals and attain personal information and data

• Must be able to communicate in a manipulative manner clearly and persuasively

• Leadership, self-confidence, motivation, decisiveness, flexibility, sound business judgment, and determination.
• Must be a cold hearted killer with a lack of morals
• Knowledge in unique torture methods
• Ability to pull the trigger without a second thought

Physical Requirements:

• Young female
• Beautiful (however gorgeous is preferred)
• In great physical shape and good health

Working Environment:Spacious private office with a personal secretary.

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