Seed Newsvine
To All the Bitch Ass Niggaz
Every year I get a bunch of free tickets to Great America. For all of you who have never heard of Great America, I am referring to Six Flags. It’s great because the tickets come from a corporation so the park is closed to the public meaning it’s not insanely packed and the longest line you’ll have to wait in will be about 15 minutes. Which is great compared to the usual, just last Sunday I was at Great America and no matter what ride you went to the wait was at least 2 hours sometimes 3. Being a person who absolutely loves roller coasters to the level that it’s a rule to ride each ride front row with your hands up the entire ride or you get a punched, I always assume everyone else will be just as excited as me. But that’s never the case.
Every year I encounter the exact same problem. I call it the “bitch ass nigga problem.” Surprising more often than not everyone who I ask gives me a response similar to “No, I don’t like that. I’m scared of heights, or it’ dangerous.” These people are bitch ass niggaz. So since I’m a girl you’re assuming the people I ask are girls, well you’re wrong. The people who usually get asked are men older, larger, taller and stronger than me. My little sister is braver than all of these guys.
What’s to be scared of really? The rides are for the most part safe. I’ve never been in the park when an incident has happened and the worst thing that could happen is you die and your family ends up rich. That’s not so bad. But really bitch ass niggaz, you are missing out. It’s suppose to be scary, that’s all part of the fun, it’s an adrenaline rush, so a natural high. Take a chance and live a little, my little cousin Johnny did it last year.
See him there under the arrow? He went with us last year to Great America and he was being a bitch ass nigga. The entire time he refused to go on any ride. After a whole day of peer pressure he still didn’t want to go on the rides. So we told him just to go in line with us and as we get on the Raging Bull he could wait on the side. It was me, my boyfriend and my friend Nicole. We strategically made him wait in line between us. As we got on to the ride we held him down and locked him in. He was telling the employee of the ride he wanted to get off but we insisted not to let him out so the guy told him it’s too late just to ride it with a smile. So he helped out a lot, thank you guy. Either ways, Johnny was not very happy about going on the ride. This is the picture of him on the roller coaster, his first roller coaster. Yeah he didn’t put his hands up, but that face he made, was made that is the exact same moment he stopped being a bitch ass nigga. After the ride he wanted to go on it again and we did. Then we went on a bunch of rides at the very end, like the American Eagle. It was great! But see bitch ass niggaz, my cousin did it and he’s still a baby, so you can do it. Oh and Johnny I love you and you’re so coming this year.